“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life!’”
Chai Ling’s fourth letter to the Church regarding Yuan Zhi Ming
January 27, 2015
Dear Brothers and Sisters, Elders, and Pastors in Christ,
May God’s peace be with you!
As I am writing this fourth letter, I thank Jesus for your continuous prayers for God to reveal the truth. God is already at work. He has continued to reveal the truth.
A few hours ago, I received Run Nan Wan’s testimony from France. At the time of the 1989 incident, Run Nan Wan was the secretary for the China Democracy Alliance. This is the original script of his testimony:
Chai Ling, in July and August of 1989, many refugees lived in a temporary refugee camp located in a suburb called Massy in Southern France. During that time, a dancer from Shanghai, Zhu XX, accused Yuan Zhi Ming of sexual assault. I was occupied with the preparatory work for the China Democracy Alliance, so I asked Xiao Kang Shu to investigate, assess and resolve the situation. Not only did Xiao Kang Shu determine to put in no extra effort to investigate, but he eventually dropped the case. Zhu XX was very disappointed and decided to stop keeping in touch. There was a magazine in Hong Kong that reported this incident, but no specific name of the perpetrator was mentioned.
Run Nan Wan
January of 27, 2015
In order to protect the privacy of the victim, I decided not to reveal the full name of the perpetrator in this testimony. (According to the protection laws in the United States for sexual assault and rape victims, the victim alone has the right to reveal the details and timing of the incident.)
I immediately phoned Xiao Kang Shu and asked if he was willing to reveal the situation after Run Nan Wan sent him the accusations. Xiao Kang Shu replied that he was not willing to do so at the moment. I decided to reveal what I heard from Xiao Kang Shu to you so that we can have a better understanding of the situation. This ongoing communication has continued from December of 2012 through the date of the writing of this letter, January 27, 2015.
In December of 2012, while I was receiving healing from the Lord regarding Yuan Zhi Ming’s rape incident, I read in a statistical report that rapists often become repeat offenders if their criminal acts are not reported. At the same time I was also misled because of a misunderstanding of a particular verse from the Bible. I thought that Yuan Zhi Ming was a church elder and that, as such, I therefore had to bring three witnesses to report his criminal acts. (The Bible verse actually does not apply to this situation. While Yuan Zhi Ming is often praised as a reputable pastor, he has not been elected by any church as an elder. http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G4245&t=KJV).
As I prayed, I was led to contact one of Yuan Zhi Ming’s best friends, Xiao Kang Shu. I thought that since Xiao Kang Shu and Yuan Zhi Ming Yuan had lived together, they should be very close to each other. Xiao Kang Shu might be able to shed some light on the incident. So I decided to phone him.
To my surprise, Xiao Kang Shu immediately refused to talk to me after I asked him if he knew anyone else who could be a witness against Yuan Zhi Ming. Xiao Kang Shu raised his voice and said, “Why are you asking this? What are you trying to say? Why are you attacking Pastor Yuan Zhi Ming?”
Being caught off guard by his reaction, I disappointedly replied, “I know someone who was a victim of Yuan Zhi Ming, and she needs to know if anyone else wants to bring their case.” Xiao Kang Shu immediately changed his mood. He then told me to never phone him in regards to this situation. I was very shocked and asked him, “This is so weird. Why are you treating me like this?”
Xiao Kang hung up the phone in anger. I had no idea what was going on, so I decided to give it another try. I phoned him back, and once again Xiao Kang told me never to call him in regards to this incident in the future. He also threatened to tell Yuan Zhi Ming that I was investigating this incident. I responded with, “Okay, no problem. You can go ahead and tell Yuan Zhi Ming.”
Xiao Kang Shu replied, “I will let Yuan Zhi Ming communicate with you directly by phone.”
I replied, “Okay, no problem.” (For the record, Yuan Zhi Ming never phoned me).
I was dismayed by Xiao Kang Shu’s rude attitude and I was unable to remain calm. I immediately prayed before Jesus to forgive Xiao Kang Shu, and I asked God to bless him. My heart felt more at peace after the prayer. I decided to patiently wait upon the Lord.
This process of waiting was very painful and disturbing, especially in February of 2013, when I experienced another rude rejection by Pastor Tong Liu concerning to Yuan Zhi Ming. I was weeping on my plane flight back home.
In March of 2013, Pastor Ai Ling Zhou decided to talk to Yuan Zhi Ming. At that time, I was with my children on an island for vacation. She told me that Yuan Zhi Ming immediately phoned her back. I asked her about Yuan’s response and she informed me that he said, “We (Chai Ling and I) did have a thing together.” However, he further replied that he disagreed that he had raped me, and he also accused me of voluntarily going to his apartment.
Once I heard that, my body began to shake. I said to Pastor Ai Ling Zhou, “I did not even know where he lived and I did not know how to drive. I did not get my driver’s license until 1991. This incident took place in late August/early September of 1990. How could I possibly drive to his residence?!”
On one hand, I was mad at Yuan for lying. On the other hand, I felt like even my own pastor had stopped believing me because of Yuan’s lies.
In the rain, I jumped into a canoe and started to paddle without a clear sense of direction. My heart was distracted and confused. I kept asking Jesus, “Why? Where are you Jesus? Why are you not advocating for me?”
I soon heard a verse in response, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.”
I thought to myself, “Jesus, I know you are the true salvation, and I believe in you as my Lord. But what does this verse have to do with my current situation?” After a few days, I seemed to understand the verse as if Jesus were saying, “Not only am I the eternal truth, I am the truth of all. I know the truth of all. I know the truth of this incident.” I felt so comforted when I realized that Jesus knew the truth that I had been trying so hard to explain to people. Even if they didn’t believe me, as long as God knew the truth, that was enough. I was so touched! Thank you Lord Jesus!
A lawyer with over 30 years of experience in helping victims said to me, “Many victims do not want compensation, especially financial. After they have experienced the trauma, they just want someone to listen to them and to believe them.” Jesus’ words provided me with the comfort that I had not received during the past 20 years.
But soon I was confronted with another thought, “Jesus, how can your truth be revealed to the world?”
When we returned in March, my husband and I met up with Pastor Ai Ling Zhou and her husband. When we got stuck at the dilemma of a “He says, she says”, my husband suddenly suggested, “We can use the lie detector!” I was surprised by what he said but I felt like it was an epiphany from God. It was as if Jesus were telling me, through my husband, to use this tool. Nonetheless, I was held back from acting because of different voices and spiritual advice such as, “You should patiently wait upon the Lord; God will handle it better than you.”
2013 became a year of difficulty and confusion for me. Yuan Zhi Ming’s refusal and lies, Pastor Tong Liu’s reaction, the different levels of neglect by various pastors, and attacks against my All Girls Allowed ministry all caused me great pain. I almost lost my faith in God.
In the past, I had felt suicidal whenever I was going through suffering – it was a kind of suffering that many may have never experienced.
For the longest time, Yuan Zhi Ming’s criminal acts and unwillingness to confess became my stumbling block to fully believing in God. Not only that, Yuan even became a well-known pastor over the years. Even though people may have thought that my life and career were going well and successful, I did not have hope inside my heart. I was lingering at the borders of death. Whenever I drove to work in the morning, I did not know if I wanted to drive home at night. Sometimes when I saw a tree, I wanted to crash into it so that I could forget about what the future might hold for me. I felt hopeless.
After searching for hope for so many years, I finally came to know Jesus in December of 2012. I decided to surrender myself to Jesus after witnessing a genuine testimony by a Christian. Regardless of this, I experienced even greater despair when several pastors did not properly handle my situation in the name of justice.
People who are living without God can come to find hope in Him. However, there is a greater danger and despair for those who find God and are later forced to abandon Him. At that time, I had doubts about whether or not God and His words were real. If they were real, why did He not seem to see me and others who were fighting for justice, living with merciful hearts, and humbly walking with Him?
If I did not follow Jesus, who else could I follow? Based on my past experience of searching for other alternatives to hold on to, I realized that none of them are true.
God led me to see Job’s obedience to Him in difficult times. The Lord declares in Jeremiah 17:5,7 : “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the LORD… Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD.” Through these verses, God took away my reliance on reputable and experienced pastors. He just wanted me to rely on Him alone. Only by believing in God can we restore justice to all. That was in October of 2013, when God slowly, gently and persistently pulled me back from the borders of death. Step by step, God entered, transformed and restored my life.
When I only see confusion in the future, God reassures me with these words in Jeremiah 29:11: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
When I do not know what to do, Jesus says in Matthew 6:33: “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Holding on to these two verses from the Lord, I returned to my ministry and church and continued my work for His kingdom.
On April 15, 2014, I was touched by the Holy Spirit to continue sharing the power of forgiveness. I also decided to post my open letter publicly on the Internet.
Around May of 2014, Pastor Po Li Zhang phoned me and said, “Chai Ling, your open letter (from April 18) revealing the Princeton rape incident has caused big trouble.” Everyone is deducing that the rapist is either me or Pastor Yuan Zhi Ming. . .”
I immediately apologized, “I am sorry. I did not realize people would notice this line. I just wanted to share my experience with forgiveness. I did not know that I would cause you so much trouble. It was not you. I do not know if you have hurt anyone, but you definitely did not hurt me!”
Pastor Po Li Zhang replied, “I know. Xiao Kang Shu talked to me for two hours on the phone, saying that he believes you, Chai Ling. Someone from Paris accused Yuan Zhi Ming of sexual assault and Xiao Kang was appointed to handle the situation…”
At that moment, I almost jumped from the floor to the ceiling. I praised Jesus inside my heart. Thank you Jesus! Even after receiving much advice from brothers and sisters in Christ to patiently wait upon the Lord, I felt as though Jesus had His own timing. He allowed the breakthrough to come only after I openly revealed myself through my testimony. Just like the Boston Marathon bombing in 2003, no one could find the suspect even after the city was shut down. With the police revealing the suspects on TV and the help of the public, one of suspects was caught within half an hour! I believe that the public had helped me resolve a problem that I could not do on my own for the past year and a half. God’s work was so efficient.
I continued excitedly to ask God how I should reply to others’ inquiries? I felt as though God wanted me to use Matthew 18:15-17 to resolve the problem. Withholding my pain, on June 1, 2014, I mentally revisited the scene of being raped. I also sent my first email to Yuan Zhi Ming Yuan regarding the instructions given in the gospel of Matthew. (The content of the email is in my first letter.)
On June 14, 2014, I sent three requirements to Yuan before we met to communicate:
1. If you are continuing to engage in raping others, not only must you stop now, you must confess your sin and repent before the victims.
2. You have become a stumbling block for the rape victims in Princeton, Paris, and Beijing. Please apologize to them immediately and ask for forgiveness in Jesus’ name.
3. I hope you will give me a formal written apology for the rape incident and the lies. (The first lie and threats were made in November of 2011 and the second lie was told to Pastor Zhou in March of 2013.)
Yuan Zhi Ming’s response on June 18, 2014, was: “… I am willing to completely repent before the Lord and apologize to you for all the intentional, unintentional, conscious and unconscious actions that I have done and the pain that I have caused you.”
After Pastor Yun and Yuan Zhi Ming Yuan communicated, Yun said, “Everything is fine now, daughter. Go reconcile. Pastor Yuan Zhi Ming has confessed before me and he is ready to repent completely. You should rely on the Lord to help you reconcile (with him).”
Even though I felt spiritually pressured to do so, I attempted to believe that God can change a person’s heart, if that person is willing. While I had a cold and could not stop coughing, I decided to meet with them anyways.
It was so surprising to me that Yuan Zhi Ming not only did not apologize to me about the rape incident, he also came up with a new set of lies. I felt ridiculed and shocked. I was thinking to myself, Pastor Yun, you have been deceived by Yuan Zhi Ming. Your words have caused me much pain after finding that Yuan Zhi Ming Yuan lied to me in the email.
On January 27, 2015, Pastor Yun clarified in his email, “… in regard to Yuan Zhi Ming’s confession over the phone (he made the confession), it means that he was ready to apologize for the wrong he had done to you. On the phone I never asked Yuan Zhi Ming how he raped the victim. But Yuan’s tone and attitude over the phone indicated to me that he was going to communicate with you personally and to repent in the areas where he had done you wrong. In regards to this situation, I want to personally apologize to you for the lack of clarity in my communication with you. Please forgive me.”
I thanked Pastor Yun for his willingness to apologize and change. Pastor Yun wanted to use that opportunity to clarify that he had never said anything confusing or distracting behind my back on the Internet.
In regard to the second requirement “concerning the sexual assault victims in Princeton, Paris and Beijing”, I also asked Yuan Zhi Ming directly if there were other victims. He shook his head and replied, “No, no.”
I was going to phone Xiao Kang Shu but my phone ran out of battery. Yuan Zhi Ming shook his head even harder and said, “Don’t call, don’t call.” The two witnessing pastors did not persist in having me call, so the call was never made.
On June 30, 2014, six days after our meeting, I was encouraged through a time of prayer to keep searching for the truth. I boldly decided to call Xiao Kang Shu again. Here is why I needed to make such a decision with boldness.
When I gave Xiao Kang Shu’s number to my pastor, she did not conduct an investigation of the situation. So I reluctantly had to call Xiao Kang Shu once again myself. I did not know what to expect from Xiao Kang. I only called him after I eagerly prayed for God’s protection.
Xiao Kang Shu did not yell at me or hang up, but he was still unwilling to help me. He was very frustrated as he told me that people have been wondering if he was the rapist. I immediately apologized and said, “I am truly sorry. I did not know that people would guess it was you.” I continued, “Yes, it is better to realize our wrongdoings and immediately apologize and repent as a Christian. At least that is what I am trying to do now.” This is also why I need to share my testimony with the public so that no one will have to suffer being a scapegoat. For as long as I do not publicly announce the name of the rapist, people will continue to guess and accuse innocent individuals.
My phone conversation with Xiao Kang Shu was briefly written in notes on July 13, 2014. A more detailed account is written below:
Xiao Kang Shu said,
Shortly after I arrived in Paris with Yuan Zhi Ming in 1989, we temporarily lived in the refugee camp. There was a woman living in there who did not seem to be related to the democracy movement. She saw that we were both single, so she was very willing to help take care of us. Yuan Zhi Ming and I had bought two pairs of jeans. They were a bit long so Yuan brought them to the woman and asked her to tailor them for us. I was out taking care of something. When I returned to Paris, I heard from Yun Nan Wan that the woman had accused Yuan of raping her. I said to Wan, “I am close to Yuan and we work closely together. So it is best for me to handle the situation.” So off I went. It was like hosting a press conference with reporters waiting to ask me what was going on. I replied, “This woman is so much older than Yuan Zhi Ming. Why would he be interested in her?” Everybody laughed and was soon dismissed. Just like that, the situation seemed to have been settled.
When Run Nan Wan and I were talking about Xiao Kang, Wan said, “Oh, that woman looked like she was a dancer and she seemed very experienced. When the incident was exposed, many people came to know what happened.”
Another older French Christian man said, “I heard Ms. Zhu has not had a happy life. Her husband came back from China and soon filed for divorce. I heard she had three children. She has been unable to raise them and had to give two away to live in a foster home. We don’t know where she is now…”
I felt so bad inside my heart as I was listening to this. Individuals who go through sexual assault and do not receive any justice often continue to carry the burden into their families and marriages. This injustice is like an invisible, heavy chain.
Oh, poor sister, wherever you are, we are eagerly praying for you. May the love of our Lord Jesus Christ find you and heal your wounds and your children, until you find true joy and eternal peace.
When Run Nan Wan shared his motive for writing the testimony, he said, “The basic standard to be a human being is to support justice, the marginalized and the weak.”
As a victim, I attempted to gain justice from the church during the past three years. However, what I experienced was more injustice and accusations. For that reason, I was truly touched and grateful for Run Nan Wan’s views on justice, even though he is not yet a Christian. Wan was the first person to step up to be a witness for the weak. We should remember his justice and courage. May the Lord bless him and his family according to His promise in Matthew 5:6, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” Please pray for Mr. Wan’s salvation and peace.
After I prayed with my husband, we decided to release Mr. Wan’s testimony to the public. We hope to achieve the following four goals:
1. Stop Yuan Zhi Ming and other rapists from hurting others: We recently found out that if rapists are not stopped, over 90% of them will likely recommit the crime. We do not want to see any more innocent individuals getting hurt.
2. Start a movement to rescue and help the victims: Regardless of one’s religious background, I hope that through my testimony you can see how victims of sexual assault live at the edge of death. When victims do not see hope in their lives, they are vulnerable to giving up at any minute. There are about 500 women who commit suicide daily after suffering from similar sexual assaults in China. A pastor from Beijing recently shared that two high school students committed suicide after being raped and attacked. Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, let us open our eyes to see the tragedy that is happening everyday. Please encourage the victims to share their experiences and receive healing. Even if it is a simple and gentle phrase, it may be the difference between life and death for them.
3. Inspire others to be a hero! Just like the life-saving hero, Mr. Run Nan Wan, you can be a witness. Please do not worry whether or not your testimony can help. God will use whatever information or testimony you share to save more victims. Please continue to report to us at: firstname.lastname@example.org
4. Be His Church! May the church act according to God’s teachings, and be a witness for Jesus Christ to others, and become a holy and pure church. May the pastors obey and follow God’s commands to be good shepherds who nurture His sheep. Ezekiel 34:15-16 says: “‘I Myself will tend My sheep and have them lie down,’ declares the Sovereign Lord. ‘I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.’”
Also in chapter 34:4a, it says, “You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured.” This verse truly touched my heart because over 74% of our sisters in church have experienced rape, over 86% have had abortions, and 30%-90% have experienced and are still experiencing domestic violence, etc. What is the role of the pastors and brothers and sisters in the church? What are God’s commands for the pastors?
Lastly, I want to say that we have not received anything from Yuan Zhi Ming, and there has so far been no formal response from either the board of China Soul or Yuan Zhi Ming’s pastoral staff.
I recently heard that Pastor Tong Liu shared in a church small group that Yuan Zhi Ming came to see me in Boston before coming to see him. That is not true. In February of 2013, when I went to his church to share about my ministry, I also wrote a 12-page letter to Pastor Tong Liu asking him to investigate this incident, and he refused to accept my request. He said that it was ridiculous for me to request Yuan Zhi Ming Yuan to apologize in front of the congress. How could it be possible?
In addition, it is not true that I sent gifts to Yuan Zhi Ming and his wife. I remember in the fall of 1991, I was visiting a couple in Princeton. The couple insisted that I go to visit Yuan Zhi Ming and his wife, who had recently come from China. I said I do not want to go. They stared at me and said, “How come you do not want to go?” I was unwilling to share about my traumatic experience with Yuan, so I just went with them. They were possibly the ones who gave Yuan Zhi Ming and his wife gifts. (I don’t know what those gifts were.) They may have also politely put my name along with theirs on the gifts. Still, I never sent any gifts to Yuan Zhi Ming or his wife.
To the contrary, when I met with Yuan Zhi Ming on June 24, 2014, he gave me a bottle of lotion, stating that it was a gift from him and his wife. The two witnessing pastors also saw that. If Pastor Tong Liu said that the act of gift-giving means someone is guilty of committing a crime, then who would Pastor Liu say is guilty in this situation?
Now that we have known the truth in Christ, what is Jesus’ way? Just as it is written in 1 John 3:9, “No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God.” And in 1 Timothy 5:20, “But those elders who are sinning, you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning.”
Are we willing to follow the Bible and act according to Jesus’ will?
(This letter was published on the Internet on January 30, 2015.)
On January 31, 2015, I received an email from Xiao Kang Shu. Excerpts of the email are shown below:
At that time I shared two things with the reporters:
1) Someone said Yuan Zhi Ming raped her. It was just a one-sided accusation. Yuan Zhi Ming is out of the country and not in Paris at the moment. So we can not testify to the truth of what happened. If the police want to investigate this situation and open a case for criminal investigation, our camp will respond immediately.
2) An anonymous woman and Yuan Zhi Ming were not under-aged, and she was several years older than Yuan Zhi Ming, so it might be difficult to confirm the rape incident.
The reporters started to laugh at this moment.
2014年5月左右,张伯笠牧师给我打了个电话，说：“柴玲啊，你的（2014年4月18日的）公开信里提到在普林斯顿被强暴后，外面砸锅了。他们都在外面说，这个强奸的牧师不是我就是远志明。。。” 我立即说：“对不起，我没想到公众会注意到这句话，我只想说明饶恕的力量，我没想到会连累你。不是你。你有没有伤害别人我不知道。但是你的确没有伤害我！” 张伯笠牧师说：“我知道。昨天（苏）晓康给我打了两个小时的电话，说他相信你，柴玲。因为巴黎也有一位妇女指控远志明性强暴她，是晓康负责处理的。。。”
· Be a hero! 做个像万润南先生一样拯救生命的英雄！如果您们有见证，不要担心是否证据不足，是否能有任何帮助，等等，神要使用您的资料和见证来救更多的受害者。请您们继续跟我们举报：email@example.com。
· Be His church! 愿我们的教会，按神的教导行事，在世人面前成为耶稣的见证，成为洁净、圣洁的教会。愿牧师们遵行耶和华对牧者的要求，来牧养神交给他的羊群：“我必亲自牧养我的羊，亲自使牠们躺卧。这是主耶和华的宣告。迷失的，我必寻找；被赶散的，我必领回；受伤的，我必包扎；患病的，我必养壮；。。。我也必按着公正牧养牠们。”（以西结书34：16）“受傷的，你們沒有包紮”这句话对我特别有感动。教会里可能有74%的姐妹受过性强暴，86%的有过堕胎，30%-90%的有过或还有家暴，等等，牧者教会兄弟姐妹们的责任是什麽那？神对牧者的要求是什麽哪？
P.S. 2015年1月31日， 收到苏晓康的电邮。部分节选如下: